"He's Like a Kid Out There!"

I don't know that it is transformative or important or anything other than interesting that I was present for the last game of the Agent Zero Era. Keith, Shaleah and I watched a less-than-enthused Wizards team mail in a game against the Suns, mere hours before the plane flight card game that would lead to real guns in the locker room, finger guns in the pregame huddle and the likely end of Gilbertology. I have the magnets to prove who Gilbert was, but I doubt I'll have the opportunity to watch him play much again.

While most athletes receive second, third, and often seventh chances, the fact that Gilbert clearly is not half as good as he was prior to the knee injuries mixed with his "quirkiness" is likely going to keep him from ever getting another contract, whether he gets paid from his current one or not. Obviously, I could not have foreseen the events that would unfold when I was watching the Suns disassemble a terrible Wizards roster, but as the game went on, it was clear to me that the sideshow of Gilbert had clearly superseded the play of Gilbert. He defended no one, he shot an eight-footer that hit the side of the backboard and he did nothing to ever help any teammate succeed offensively. The quirkiness is far less endearing without good basketball accompanying it.

But the point I want to make is not that Gilbert isn't Gilbert anymore; it is that somehow it is wrong for Gilbert to be Gilbert when we want every other athlete to be themselves. I am not condoning committing felonies, but I am condoning taking joy in a game that is meant to be joyful. Today I read columnists who revise history to say that things Gilbert did int the past prove that he is imbalanced or disturbed. They write that any NBA player who would run and dunk off of a trampoline during a timeout obviously is not "fit" to take the court in the NBA. But if Brett Favre grabbed a T-shirt cannon or wanted to take part in the Dr. Pepper football-tossing challenge, the media would race to tout how he was the "gunslinger" or "just like a kid out there." (I have a recurring nightmare wherein Mike Patrick is on loop saying "And you don't think he's having fun out there??!!!" The me who exists within this dream is clad in a straitjacket and simply drones "No, Mike, I never said I didn't think that he was not having fun out there. You intimated that I thought he wasn't having fun out there when at no point I thought any such thing." I have pretty terrible grammar in my dreams, apparently).

When it comes to Gilbert, I loved that he dunked off the trampoline because he did exactly what every one of us would have done if we were lucky enough to be him. It was Gilbert himself who said: "So if that's crazy or quirky, just give me season tickets to any arena and let me sit there with 20,000 other crazy or quirky people." We wanted to jump off the trampoline, but Gilbert did it for us. He joined us as crazy or quirky people. He made the NBA more accessible by being someone who seemed normal. In fact, during that Wiz-Suns game, when the Gorilla came out to dunk off a trampoline, I was totally uninterested in the aerobatics. Instead, I told Shaleah about the time that Gilbert dunked off the trampoline, even though he was coming back from a knee injury and had a $111 million contract. I appreciated the joy he took in it, even while it might have seemed stupid.

And now that Gilbert has done something that was, rather than just seemed, stupid, it might be over for him. He won't be able to make multiple comebacks interspersed with brush clearing in Mississippi. I'm not accusing Brett Favre of breaking any laws. His worst crime has been to be annoying and manipulate the sports media. If that were a crime, there would be no professional athletes walking free. However, I just see an incongruity in celebrating Favre's version of "realness," which apparently is Wrangler jeans and mud football, and denigrating as careless Gilbert's version of "realness," which apparently is that the only currency is joking merriment.

However, for Gilbert, we will see whether the currency of fun is as useful when he doesn't have any real currency. Some fans will be pleased about his exile and the possibility of him losing that contract. But even though he allegedly has done what he allegedly has done, I cannot be pleased about his exile. I enjoyed him too much to move on that quickly.

Kobe Bryant is so good at basketball as to be an automaton. His artistry can be appreciated, but it is impossible to identify with. (Sentence-ending preposition the result of writing this during a dream!). Gilbert was more earthbound. He was clearly gifted but also understandable. For people like me, he WAS the people's champion, even if he was never a champion of anything. And while the NFL continues to placate its people's champion; the NBA's has been sent away - tossed off the entertaining edifice that he had himself built. I cannot blame others for Gilbert's failings, but I can celebrate his greater moments, that edifice that he built, that joy he brought. Those things, I can celebrate.

Trying to keep the demons at bay

I'm getting into law school crunch time, and I've begun to feel that I don't like being crunched. I think I need this book to help get me through.

I didn't come here to talk about me, though. I wanted to talk about paranoia, ridiculousness, outsized expectations, premature judgment and general self-loathing (Again, I must reiterate, I'm not talking about me). Instead, I am discussing the search for a new basketball coach for the University of Arizona. For most of my readers (how much is most of two?) this particular topic has no relevance to them and does not affect them. But lo, if it were so easy for me.

Alas, since I live in Tucson (a beautiful place with a lot going for it, however, a grasp of reality when it comes to UA Basketball remains wanting) I must constantly be reminded of this quest to find a guy to stand on the sidelines in a suit. I can't even avoid it at law school since many people went to Arizona as undergrads and not only drank the Kool-Aid, they had their blood replaced with it.

So there are constant rumors and stories and arguments and discussions and it could not be more tedious. The latest craze is to want to fire the athletic director since he hasn't persuaded Jesus Christ himself to come to McKale Center. While it may seem like heresy (pardon the religious references but I'm just trying to give you a taste of what it is like to be forced against one's will to be a parishioner at the Church of the Silver Fox) maybe people should realize that the AD was put in a no-win situation by the demigod that is Lute Olson with his will-I-coach-won't-I-coach headgames. It is hard to hire a coach during a season because all of the successful candidates are, you know, coaching their own successful teams. Alas, I punch at the wind because asking for rationality among this fanbase is like asking for Kat not to watch cute videos of puppies on Youtube: you just can't.

Personally, I would just like it to end. Please hire someone and let us get back to our lives. Until then, I hope to burrow into the law books and not come out. Someday, it will be over. For now, we wait.

I'll Manage

I had some interviews on Friday. Most went well; some went less well. We'll see what shakes out for this summer.

In somewhat better news, I was selected as one of the managing editors for Law Review for 2009-2010. In addition to the freely-available mind-altering substances and the ever-present groupies, I will get a small stipend for my efforts. It should be a fun experience.

Kat and I are both feeling a little less than great, so we are taking it easy. We watched MST3K last night (Overdrawn at the Memory Bank) after we went for a walk. I have little of interest to tell you so I'll sign off. Adios.

I'm here

Hey brah, just an update on life on Me Street in Our Town.

Mom, thanks for sending the glove. I've never been good at softball, but I'm going to try anyway. There is a low talent threshold for law school sports, so I'm sure I'll be fine. Plus, it's Lloyd's glove, so I'm sure it has lots of magic in it.

Lloyd, I saw that Chris Paul went off in the game you attended, but the Spurs' dull boringness was too much to overcome. Did you fall asleep during any San Antonion possessions? That was a nice dunk by GINOBILI!, though.

Keith, sweet beard. Keep it up. Also, thanks for your advice on all things technological. We were both born in the wrong century. I'm from the 1700s and you should be living in the 2300s. Think how small the iPods will be then!

Kat, thanks for keeping the house purty. Everyone should totally see the new shams. I mean, QTpi.

Dad, I know you.

Everyone else and the people who have already been mentioned, my life just keeps on going. Everything is well. The weather is nice in Tucson. The Buzzsaw are where no Buzzsaw have gone before. LeBron is on broadcast TV today, although it is only against the Pistons, who I think are afraid of him. Yes, the economy is terrible and I may be one of the few lawyers in history to die of starvation, but doggone it (see, another of my 18th century phrases, just like jumpin' Jehosaphat) I'm feeling good. I'm sure it won't last long - probably just until the meds wear off - but that's OK. Enjoy the "big game" (Roger Goodell looks over my shoulder menacingly) if you like football, enjoy the commercials if you don't. Later.

By Request

I received an e-mail this week - from a person who alleges that I never return e-mails - that I was not blogging enough. That may, in fact, be true, but I'm trying to make amends. Here's some bullet points from my life.

- It was good to see the family, if only by Skype, for Thanksgiving. It looks like a good time was had by all at Tim and Kay's. I'm sure it will be the same for Christmas.

- I have two finals and a big paper due and then I will officially be half done with law school (as long as everything goes well with those two finals and big paper). I don't really know if it has gone fast or slow (it can seem interminable at certain times), but it seems like I am getting closer to actually knowing something and actually being able to provide someone a service.

- Kat had a good birthday party. There was a pretty impressive turnout (for us) of both people and dogs and we had a lot of fun. The weather was great, and most people seemed to enjoy it. There were some close calls with near dog-fights, but overall a good time was had by all.

- Lloyd and I went and played basketball this morning at the regular 6 a.m. game. Nothing can top the look of incredulity on Lloyd's face when I explain that people are actually willing to play basketball this early in the morning. It was great to get to play with him, and we "dominated the dojo" despite the fact that Lloyd was playing hurt and I can't shoot. It was a lot of fun. Now, we are back and Lloyd is back to sleep and I am blogging. Kat is sleeping, too, so ssshhhhhh!

- Kat did a great job on the food yesterday for Thanksgiving. She even found a coupon online, so we had $10 off of our Boston Market turkey. Some of the employees at Boston Market were not thrilled with working on Thanksgiving, but that is neither here nor there.

- I'm excited to watch the Nebraska game today. I haven't seen a single Corn game all year, but Lloyd promises me that it will be good. He told me that Ndamukong "A Boy Named" Suh has been living in the other team's backfields the last few games and that he is the one I should watch. I withhold judgment but will let you know.

- The Buzzsaw that is the Arizona Cardinals were more like the Butter Knife that is the Arizona Cardinals last night. The rather underwhelming game led to this interesting quote from Bryan Robinson, which made it seem like he did not quite understand the current saturation of American media: "Not a whole lot of people get the NFL Network. That's the good thing about it." Sorry, Bryan, I get the feeling that they are going to hear about how the Cardinals, who are going to win the NFC West even if they don't win another game all year, got drubbed by the worst team in the NFC East. That's just my hunch.

- In marginally good news, I was selected to be a Writing Fellow (I always wanted to be a fellow, whether it was academic-related, jolly good or otherwise) for the law school's writing program. This means I will be the teaching assistant to a small writing class of 1L's during the spring semester. You should probably start praying for them now. I think it will be fun to help and should improve my writing, too.

- As an NBA fun, this Summer of 2010 drama is kind of annoying. It means that the Knicks and Mike D'Antoni have a free pass to continue being terrible for another two years. Despite the fact that eleventy bajillion words will be written about them anyway. I like LeBron, and I know he can't stop what other people talk about, but he is on a good team right now. I don't know if he should have to tamp down the rumors, but it might help if he didn't talk about it quite so much. I don't see why Cleveland can't be the team that plays the Lakers in the Finals rather than the Celtics. That should be their focus - not on stuff that might happen in the future. But even if LeBron is distracted (or distracting) he is still doing amazing stuff every night. That is fact. I don't profess to be totally uninterested in 7-1-10 - if all goes well I should be studying for the bar exam then - which will either decrease my interest considerably or mean that I am going to fail because I never studied and instead read TrueHoop all day.

- On the NBA tip (as the kids said about 10 years ago), I think the other problem with this season is it is abundantly clear that only three teams can win in the end. Last year, it truly seemed wide open and that any of a handful of teams could have the trophy. But this year the Lakers look unstoppable, the Celtics may not be as intense but look like they are ready for the grind and the Cavs look like they have "the player" and enough supporting players to do some damage. I think it will still be interesting, so if it wouldn't kill fans and the media, it would be nice if they could, you know, pay at least a modicum of attention to this season.

- And, just because I was thinking of it, here is Kevin Garnett's insane interview after the Celtics won the title.

- Last, I can't find this birthday card online, so I'll just explain it. (I'm sure it might dampen the hilarity, but you'll have to imagine). Kat received this card from her friend Lena (they were both once copy editors and share this humor, although it can also work for English teachers and people who correct people regularly - although I don't know anyone like that). Lena recently had a baby and Kat went to visit her and him in October. The baby has its own blog (although to me it doesn't look like he can even type yet!) and is relatively adorable. Anyway, that was a terrible and convoluted introduction (and I said I was a writing fellow!) but here is the card, if anyone has read this far:

We open with two girls, teenageish, apparently sitting in a school cafeteria. The quote balloon from the first says: "Where's your birthday party at?" The second then says: "Don't end a sentence with a preposition." 

Then, you open the card and the same photo is present and only the first girl has a quote balloon, which says: "Where's your birthday party at, bitch?"

So, Mom, in the future, you might want to be careful with your corrections.

- Kat is now awake, so I will cease blogging. Keep it real.

Not all that fun

As pumped up as everyone was for the NBA Playoffs this year, so far it has been more sad than happy. The number of "bad" stories has far outweighed the good stories and great games. And though I didn't watch a second of the Spurs-Suns series, I do at least know if it over now. The new parlor game here in Arizona will be "D'Antoni: Keep or Fire?" I think that both he and Avery Johnson and George Karl may soon be looking for new work. And if the Celtics can't get rid of the pesky Hawks, Doc Rivers may be joining them.
I guess my point was that when the playoffs started, no one expected that we would be talking more about bad than good. If the Spurs meet the Lakers in the Western Conference Finals, that would be something to behold. And the Wiz-Cavs series has been exciting in a sort of "too frightening to look away" sense. But despite all that, I can't help but feeling that at a time when basketball should be synonymous with joy, for me, some of the great things I loved are coming to an end. I came to Arizona the same summer that Nash was signed, and they have been great years. However, it feels like they are over. It seems that Nash has bad games more often than I remember and the Suns still struggle with the same problems. A Shaq-sized Band-Aid hasn't changed that. And while pundits will continue to pontificate about how the Suns' model could never actually work, I'll remember the joy of watching them at their best - even if it often was during the regular season. Arguing for process over result is often the crutch that the unsuccessful cling to after their most recent failure and I think the Suns are the poster children for such (ir)rationalizations. But for me, I don't mind. In some ways, I perversely hope that the Suns fire D'Antoni and Nash retires and Phoenix Suns 2004-2008 can fade away as a memory only for those who witnessed it. As I've had less time to watch and less energy to care, I've realized I'm ready to move on. I'll remember the Nash-led Suns by what they actually achieved - not by what they could not achieve. I fear that few others will choose to remember them this way, but history is written by the victors. I see this Spurs' near-sweep as the end of a dynasty based on almost - a dynasty that never was - a dynasty that couldn't get over the hump. For most fans, I think mediocrity might be preferable to such a situation. But you won't hear that from me. I thought the Suns' inability to ever take that final stride rings true with my all-too-human failings. People don't watch sports to remind themselves of their own foibles, but I do. And it might be better if more people did.

Note: This is stream-of-consciousness while trying to digest some chocolate cake and a defeat by a loathsome enemy. Sorry if it doesn't make sense.

Get this down

I noticed something I think we'll be interesting in the next few days and wanted to highlight it for my extensive readership. By following this link you can see the current bracket of the NIT. My prediction is that Ohio State and Florida will become the first teams to play in the finals of the NCAA Tournament and the National Invitational Tournament in back to back years. (It may have happened before, but I doubt it. This year was the first since 1980 that both finalists from the prior year failed to make the NCAA Tournament the next year. However, that is what happens when entire teams go pro.) In a few days, you will see this story on the front page of espn.com and you would have been amazed. But because you have TB, you know it now - before it happens!
I'm certain this prediction won't pan out because I'm crowing about it, but we'll see.
In other news, the Suns and Celtics are playing as we speak. I cannot watch, but I enjoy a game like this because no matter which team wins I feel good. On my drive home from the daily grind, I listened to the game on the radio. I think the Suns radio team are even more homer-rific than their TV team - which is saying something, trust me. I'm surprised some of Boston's players haven't been arrested for assault.
Anyway, things are real solid here in Tucson. Weather is warming up, classes are ramping up, mental state is becoming precarious. Yes, all is well.

Live from the Red Roof Inn!!!

Yes, friends, the Berlin groundlift of moving nearly everything in an apartment on one side of Tucson to a small hotel room on the other side of Tucson has been completed. I don't think I would have been able to do it without all of my experience in helping Mom with previous lasagna-lifts, so for that I thank her. The room is pretty nice, and we have Internet, so I can't complain too much. We just hope the dogs will keep being good, so we don't get kicked out. 

Notes from the week:

Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer was on campus this past week and spoke to the students. He was pretty funny and told some good stories. He said his job was basically "doing homework for the rest of his life."

In the interest of keeping it "fair and balanced," I also heard from the Solicitor General of the U.S. Paul Clement. The SG is the designated advocate for the U.S. Government. It is his job to come up with arguments, both legal and otherwise, for what the government does. He was very sharp.

I have been sick. I think it was because I skipped Dr. Keith's fun-time radio half-hour medical hour to hear Breyer and thus was served with flu-like karmic payback. I was really suffering Thursday night, but I'm starting to feel better. 

In the ongoing Mormon basketball league saga, the team upon which I am the sole ringer notched big win number two on the season. However, after a 1-11 regular season, this victory came in the first round of the playoffs. That's right, the slipper still fits, Gus Johnson! We now stand at 2-11 and are looking at a Final Four matchup with a team that humbled us recently. But that doesn't really matter. It was just nice to win again.

I am studying this weekend, however, one small problem with that is that I have cable and it is NBA All-Star Weekend in NOLA, or alternatively the Black Super Bowl or the name I've proposed Mardi Ball. But anyway, I'll definitely be taking in the Saturday night festivities (although I won't be texting in any votes) and the game on Sunday. I'm a bit of a sucker for NBA All-Star Weekend, and the League in general, if you haven't noticed.

In the interest of furthering that suckeritude (word I also made up that is not as good as Mardi Ball), I casually watched the NBA All-Star "Celebrity" game last night on ESPN7. Celebrity was in quotes because the announcers had to tell you what the people did that made them celebrities because no one knew. I had never heard of Ne-Yo before, and I try to pay attention! If you missed it, and I'm sure you did, I can fill you in briefly. A criminally overweight Chris Tucker shot way too much, Prime Time actually played pretty hard and pretty well, Floyd Mayweather likes to dribble, and Taylor Hicks should have stayed home. The only player that would count as a current celebrity, Terrell Owens, showed up at the start of the second quarter (traffic, delayed flight, Tony Romo girlfriend intervention?) and then thoroughly dominated in leading his team to victory. He is good at basketball; the other "celebrities" are not.

I also watched some of the Rookie-Sophomore game but didn't make it to the end because I took some NyQuil and that was that. 

Last cable note: I also have HBO of some sort, it might be HBO2, but anyway I caught some of the preview buildup to Saturday night's rematch bout between Kelly Pavlik and Jermain Taylor. The fight is on PPV, but the show allowed me to see some nice shots of Little Rock, Taylor's hometown. It seemed quite nice. So my final question is for Lloyd, if he has read this far or read at all: Is there a lot of hullabaloo (for lack of a better word about this rematch after Pavlik humbled the hometown boy)? And my other question for him is whether he had heard of Ne-Yo?

Be cool.

Some Notes on a Wednesday Afternoon

I forgot to commemorate the first anniversary of Super Duper Day (note: official title still being discussed) yesterday, Dec. 4. SDD was the day when Kat and I officially became engaged by choosing the most inexpensive ring she liked and was simultaneously the same day when I got my first acceptance to a law school. Kat cried tears of joy on SDD. Normally, I make her cry tears of anger or disappointment three or four times for each instance of tears of joy. But we choose not to commemorate those occurrences with special days. Anyway, I hope to remember SDD next year without having Kat tell me right before I go to bed.

Since things always seem to come full circle, I had my first law school exam today (post-SDD). The first rule (or is it the second rule?) of law school exams is "You don't talk about law school exams!" So I won't be discussing it with you. I'll tell you how I feel after being prejudiced by finding out my grade. (Don't tell anyone I said anything, but I think I did OK. If not, I will be savagely disappointed later).

Though I didn't feel horrible after the exam, I was pretty drained. I felt like Hank Kingsley after he filled in for one night as host for Larry Sanders. Right after the show, this was Hank's quote:

"Man, I'm tired. Now, I know why Larry is so f---ed up!"

That is sort of how I felt. Hat tip to Lloyd for the Larry Sanders DVDs, which are always a good study break/procrastinating tool.

But while I thought things were going so well, this was the e-mail I received after I had finished only my first of four exams. And this is quoted verbatim, however, I will not divulge the author's name:

"Let's face it. You haven't done enough to get an A in the class you'll be
studying for on Friday. So just accept your fate and embrace the B and play
basketball."

Hold on, here! I haven't given up that easily. I think I have worked hard enough, but sure I'll be there for basketball. I've got to keep my priorities straight!

I don't have much more to say. Kat bought Lily a rather awesome sweater. The Suns and Celtics are winning. But sports are meaningless, law is everything, bring on the exams!