Not all that fun

As pumped up as everyone was for the NBA Playoffs this year, so far it has been more sad than happy. The number of "bad" stories has far outweighed the good stories and great games. And though I didn't watch a second of the Spurs-Suns series, I do at least know if it over now. The new parlor game here in Arizona will be "D'Antoni: Keep or Fire?" I think that both he and Avery Johnson and George Karl may soon be looking for new work. And if the Celtics can't get rid of the pesky Hawks, Doc Rivers may be joining them.
I guess my point was that when the playoffs started, no one expected that we would be talking more about bad than good. If the Spurs meet the Lakers in the Western Conference Finals, that would be something to behold. And the Wiz-Cavs series has been exciting in a sort of "too frightening to look away" sense. But despite all that, I can't help but feeling that at a time when basketball should be synonymous with joy, for me, some of the great things I loved are coming to an end. I came to Arizona the same summer that Nash was signed, and they have been great years. However, it feels like they are over. It seems that Nash has bad games more often than I remember and the Suns still struggle with the same problems. A Shaq-sized Band-Aid hasn't changed that. And while pundits will continue to pontificate about how the Suns' model could never actually work, I'll remember the joy of watching them at their best - even if it often was during the regular season. Arguing for process over result is often the crutch that the unsuccessful cling to after their most recent failure and I think the Suns are the poster children for such (ir)rationalizations. But for me, I don't mind. In some ways, I perversely hope that the Suns fire D'Antoni and Nash retires and Phoenix Suns 2004-2008 can fade away as a memory only for those who witnessed it. As I've had less time to watch and less energy to care, I've realized I'm ready to move on. I'll remember the Nash-led Suns by what they actually achieved - not by what they could not achieve. I fear that few others will choose to remember them this way, but history is written by the victors. I see this Spurs' near-sweep as the end of a dynasty based on almost - a dynasty that never was - a dynasty that couldn't get over the hump. For most fans, I think mediocrity might be preferable to such a situation. But you won't hear that from me. I thought the Suns' inability to ever take that final stride rings true with my all-too-human failings. People don't watch sports to remind themselves of their own foibles, but I do. And it might be better if more people did.

Note: This is stream-of-consciousness while trying to digest some chocolate cake and a defeat by a loathsome enemy. Sorry if it doesn't make sense.

Most Confusing Week Yet

This was the most confusing week so far, but it wasn't because of the material we were studying. I've fallen into a groove where no matter how strange or counterintuitive a concept is, I seem to be able to get at least a moderate grasp on it. I don't know if I'm getting them well enough to be a lawyer, but we'll find out preliminarily in two months and then henceforth for the rest of my working life.

One of the students in my small section (the group of 25 or so who are in all the same classes together, including one class every day that consists of only our section) died this week, apparently of suicide. We don't have any detailed information, but that is what we were told. For all of us, this was an unbelievable shock. I knew this guy relatively well - I had studied at the same table with him on a couple of occasions, had lunch with him, even played basketball with him once. He spoke in class, was prepared on a daily basis and always had something funny to say. Knowing all of this, it has been totally impossible to make sense of how this could happen.

Most of us can't help but think that we could have done more or been better classmates and that maybe this could have made a difference. I know that it probably couldn't, and I also know that school probably had very little to do with this. It is a high-stress environment, but we haven't even really hit the stress yet.

I don't think there is really a lesson here because it makes so little sense. I have not had trouble focusing on my studies or had feelings like I don't want to do it. I am excited to be doing what I'm doing, and even when it's hard it hasn't gotten me down too much. In a perverse way, the events of this week have shown me just how lucky I am. I just want to keep moving forward and try to achieve my goals. But for now, that journey is pretty sad.

I regularly poke fun at Mom (with Kat often telling me not to in the background) about going to so many funerals. But when something affects you like this, I understand that you want to be able to say goodbye. So I'll be at a funeral on Monday (I don't know what the odds are that Mom will be at one as well, somewhere, but I think they have to be decent).

I don't know what this post is supposed to convey, but I felt the need to try to get some things down. In the end, this incident can't ever make sense to those of us who knew him only at school. But can any suicides of 22-year-olds ever make sense? Probably not. And I wish I didn't have to try.

In better news this week, on Tuesday Kat and I went to the Rilo Kiley show at the Rialto. It was quite awesome. All the best tunes from the past albums and the best ones off the new album as well. Best moment of the night: Jenny Lewis vamping along the front of the stage while playing cowbell on "Breakin' Up." Also, the supporting acts The Bird and the Bee and Grand Ole Party were good. You can hear them on iTunes (Kat had to download a few), but I couldn't find them on eMusic.

Other good news, I got all of my reading done for this weekend before the weekend, so I can outline all day today (Saturday). It should be a barrel of fun.

Last good news, Kat and I are going to Phoenix tomorrow to see our friend Tammy. She is moving soon to Reno where she and her fiance, Chris, have gotten jobs. They both worked with us previously in Yuma. We'll miss having a good friend in Phoenix (always helpful to save on parking at the airport during vacation!), but we're excited for her and Chris.

Also bonus last good news, we might go to the Arizona State Fair while in Phoenix. I think there is a chance we can procure and consume a candy-bar drizzled with caramel on a stick deep-fried in lard and honey and then stuffed inside a giant marshmallow, microwaved and then coated with other candy bars. If not that, then a funnel cake is always good!