Saturday, October 13, 2007

Most Confusing Week Yet

This was the most confusing week so far, but it wasn't because of the material we were studying. I've fallen into a groove where no matter how strange or counterintuitive a concept is, I seem to be able to get at least a moderate grasp on it. I don't know if I'm getting them well enough to be a lawyer, but we'll find out preliminarily in two months and then henceforth for the rest of my working life.

One of the students in my small section (the group of 25 or so who are in all the same classes together, including one class every day that consists of only our section) died this week, apparently of suicide. We don't have any detailed information, but that is what we were told. For all of us, this was an unbelievable shock. I knew this guy relatively well - I had studied at the same table with him on a couple of occasions, had lunch with him, even played basketball with him once. He spoke in class, was prepared on a daily basis and always had something funny to say. Knowing all of this, it has been totally impossible to make sense of how this could happen.

Most of us can't help but think that we could have done more or been better classmates and that maybe this could have made a difference. I know that it probably couldn't, and I also know that school probably had very little to do with this. It is a high-stress environment, but we haven't even really hit the stress yet.

I don't think there is really a lesson here because it makes so little sense. I have not had trouble focusing on my studies or had feelings like I don't want to do it. I am excited to be doing what I'm doing, and even when it's hard it hasn't gotten me down too much. In a perverse way, the events of this week have shown me just how lucky I am. I just want to keep moving forward and try to achieve my goals. But for now, that journey is pretty sad.

I regularly poke fun at Mom (with Kat often telling me not to in the background) about going to so many funerals. But when something affects you like this, I understand that you want to be able to say goodbye. So I'll be at a funeral on Monday (I don't know what the odds are that Mom will be at one as well, somewhere, but I think they have to be decent).

I don't know what this post is supposed to convey, but I felt the need to try to get some things down. In the end, this incident can't ever make sense to those of us who knew him only at school. But can any suicides of 22-year-olds ever make sense? Probably not. And I wish I didn't have to try.

In better news this week, on Tuesday Kat and I went to the Rilo Kiley show at the Rialto. It was quite awesome. All the best tunes from the past albums and the best ones off the new album as well. Best moment of the night: Jenny Lewis vamping along the front of the stage while playing cowbell on "Breakin' Up." Also, the supporting acts The Bird and the Bee and Grand Ole Party were good. You can hear them on iTunes (Kat had to download a few), but I couldn't find them on eMusic.

Other good news, I got all of my reading done for this weekend before the weekend, so I can outline all day today (Saturday). It should be a barrel of fun.

Last good news, Kat and I are going to Phoenix tomorrow to see our friend Tammy. She is moving soon to Reno where she and her fiance, Chris, have gotten jobs. They both worked with us previously in Yuma. We'll miss having a good friend in Phoenix (always helpful to save on parking at the airport during vacation!), but we're excited for her and Chris.

Also bonus last good news, we might go to the Arizona State Fair while in Phoenix. I think there is a chance we can procure and consume a candy-bar drizzled with caramel on a stick deep-fried in lard and honey and then stuffed inside a giant marshmallow, microwaved and then coated with other candy bars. If not that, then a funnel cake is always good!