Friday, July 6, 2007

An Important Announcement from ESPN

To: All Media
From: ESPN and the ESPN Family of Networks
For Immediate Release
7-6-07

ESPN Announces It Will Focus All of Its Coverage Solely on ESPN and ESPN-related Partnerships

ESPN today announces that from this day forth all of its coverage on ESPN, ESPN2, ESPN The Magazine, ESPN Classic, ESPN Radio espn.com and any other ESPN-affiliated media outlets will be focused solely on ESPN itself. ESPN began as a small cable television station that focused on reporting on the events of the exciting world of sports, but in growing into a large multinational media conglomerate, ESPN, according to its executive team, has found that its work is best suited to covering itself.

“Our viewers, readers and listeners have long enjoyed the fact that we provided the most complete in sports coverage – of everything from NBA Basketball to stock-car racing to Saturday morning hunting shows,” said Mark White, ESPN executive in charge of self-promotion. “But as our product has evolved and our creativity has diminished, it seems that what we do best, and what we really enjoy, is covering ourselves. Whether it is the ESPYs, Who’s Now or our hilarious and exceedingly self-indulgent commercials, we feel best when we are talking about us.”

White pointed to the recent issue of ESPN The Magazine as an example of ESPN’s direction. The front cover has NBA star LeBron James and “comedian” Jimmy Kimmel, the hosts of the ESPYs, talking about how they are going to do a great job of hosting the ESPYs. “Sure, there’s a lot of real sports news going on – the Anaheim Angels, the slumping Yankees, Wimbledon, steroids and dogfighting,” White said. “But what is important is making sure that the readers of our magazine know about us and what we are promoting. The fact that Kimmel hosts a show on ABC, which is owned by the same corporation that owns ESPN, only adds to the synergy and excitement.”

Also, White was quick to point out that the cover wasn't the only example of ESPN keeping a close eye on itself. In the "popular" Outtakes interview in the back, ESPN personality Dan Patrick interviews actor John Turturro, who will soon appear in a movie made by ESPN Films that will air on ESPN. "Isn't that nice how that all works out?" White said.

White offers ESPN insider insight into the latest edition of ESPN The Magazine.

White acknowledges that some ESPN watchers will be disappointed that sports are no longer the focus, but he says they had to have seen this coming. He pointed to the work of Pedro Gomez, Stephen A. Smith and other reporters as proof that ESPN has already made plenty of steps toward shining the coverage on itself, rather than what occurs on the court or field. “We at ESPN saw how Oprah Winfrey is on the cover of her magazine every single month and decided that since we were going in this direction already, we might as well jump in whole hog,” White said. “The point is that we will tell you what is important in the world of sports – and what is important is ESPN and its many and various other entities.”

As part of the new focus, upcoming segments on SportsCenter will include an interview with Stephen A. Smith’s voice coach, a look inside Chris Berman’s poolhouse and a batch of Top Plays devoted to Scott Van Pelt’s top 10 voicemail messages left on the phones of chicks he met at bars.

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