Second Reading Circle (Of Hell!)

I have made it known that my interest in the NBA is over, but some, for good reason probably, believe that I will relapse. As part of the cleansing process to ensure the end of my fandom, I chose to read two books devoted obsessively to the topic as sort of a "you have to hit rock bottom first in order to get cured" gambit.
The books were Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer: A Journey into the Heart of Fan Mania by Warren St. John and To Hate Like This is to be Happy Forever: A Thoroughly Obsessive, Intermittently Uplifting, and Occasionally Unbiased Account of the Duke-North Carolina Basketball Rivalry by Will Blythe. The beauty of writing reviews of these two books is that once you've actually listed the titles, you need only about 100 more words and you're done.
Hammer is the story of how St. John followed the Alabama Crimson Tide football team around during a season among the group of RVers who traveled to all of the games. It is a rollicking account that shows a rather absurd level of fanaticism on the part of the fans. Of course, these are the same people who showed up 92,000 strong at the recent Spring Game to get their first look at the spawn of Saban. St. John's book is simply a lot of fun. The tales of drunken Tide fans is enough for numerous laugh out loud moments that are the kinds of stories one sees on Cops. Despite the cursing, the drinking, the spitting, the fighting, racism and the all-around distasteful activities of those portrayed, St. John shows that at heart they love their team. They are driven (literally hundreds of miles each weekend) not first and foremost because they hate the other side (although they do), but it seems rather because they love the Tide.
This reason for being a fanatic, love rather than hate, isn't the point of Blythe's book. He is looking at why hating Duke is for him, a UNC grad, basically nothing more than a bodily function. Excusing the double negative, he can't not do it. But being driven by hate isn't a happy experience - it makes wins relief and losses tragic. Blythe has to live this fact for every UNC game and especially their clashes with Duke. While his book is more of a "writerly" investigation (longer, more flowery, more likely to invoke the memories of dead relatives) it isn't more fun.
St. John captured what it is to be in the moment - to be a fan when your team surpasses even your wildest dreams. Blythe focuses on being outside the moment and thinking of the myriad twists and turns that can turn happiness to disgust.
While nothing in either of these books can be considered healthy, I think love is better on the soul than hate. I can recommend both for an interesting read, but if you only have time for one, go with RJYH.
So where does that leave me? I never hated any of the teams in the NBA - I just liked the Suns the best because they were a good and entertaining team. But I think my interest has ended. A positively atrocious NBA Finals closed the book on my fandom for the Suns, the league and probably televised basketball in general. I think I'll always enjoy playing, but I don't think watching will ever be what it once was.
Letting go isn't easy, but reading the stories in this book make it easier for me to let go. I don't want to be anything like what I was reading about.