Look back to go forward

Two long years ago one of my professors required us to write letters to our third-year law student selves. It was an interesting exercise, I guess. Anyway, now 730 days later, said professor returned those letters to us. Is my letter interesting? No. Is it enlightening? No. Is it funny? Not particularly.

I will point out that I included Kat in its drafting, lo, that 104 weeks ago. The other important thing to point out is the name on the envelope to return my letter: Jeffrey Gautieaux. Yes, clearly, I command lots of respect in these parts. Conduct yourself accordingly.

Anyway, here you go.

I'll Manage

I had some interviews on Friday. Most went well; some went less well. We'll see what shakes out for this summer.

In somewhat better news, I was selected as one of the managing editors for Law Review for 2009-2010. In addition to the freely-available mind-altering substances and the ever-present groupies, I will get a small stipend for my efforts. It should be a fun experience.

Kat and I are both feeling a little less than great, so we are taking it easy. We watched MST3K last night (Overdrawn at the Memory Bank) after we went for a walk. I have little of interest to tell you so I'll sign off. Adios.

Pain Pain Pain

Because someone else dared me, I have been growing a moustache throughout final exams. I know this is a bad idea, but for some reason I haven't shaved it off. I guess at this point, everyone has seen how ridiculous I am, so I'm just trying to "own it" as the kids say.

Here is more photographic proof of how pathetic I am.


As for exams this semester, they have been some of the worst experiences of my life. I am excited that my first year is almost done - never again will they deride me by cackling "1L!" - but it has been quite painful in stretches. I don't know if it will get better or if it is supposed to, but many times this year, and especially the past two weeks, I have felt nauseous, in over my head or just plain disturbed.

(Note: The same reason why you shouldn't go to the grocery store when you are hungry applies to blogging while in the midst of law school exams. Everything comes out sounding worse.)

Anyway, I've taken to calling the exam periods "The Ordeal." The only good news is The Ordeal ends at noon Friday. I have actually enjoyed law school, and I can say with certainty that this exam period has been the worst part of a good first year. Every single exam has been an exercise in futility, fickleness and "f--- this!".

Some people encourage students to journal while in law school, but I didn't take the advice. I wrote down some dull drivel at one point in the first semester, but I haven't done any otherwise. I prefer ranting on my blog with a readership in the single digits. I think it might be cathartic and I'm reaching for catharsis wherever I can get it.

Sometime in the future the grades will come out, but at this point I'm not even worried about that. I just want what I've been through to end. I'm just ready for a break.

Reader Poll: When I return to Yuma for the (gulp) summer (another large gulp) should I blog on Tucsonic Boom or return to The Yumanity. I could go either way and appreciate any input. However, if no one wants to talk to me because of my foul mood (Kat gave up a week or so ago), I understand.

I'm excited about my job because I like researching and writing about the law. I just don't much enjoy the stresses of exams. I'll be back to normal soon - ranting about the NBA or some such thing.

But for now, I'm just trying to make it to the weekend. Thanks for your thoughts.

Live from the Red Roof Inn!!!

Yes, friends, the Berlin groundlift of moving nearly everything in an apartment on one side of Tucson to a small hotel room on the other side of Tucson has been completed. I don't think I would have been able to do it without all of my experience in helping Mom with previous lasagna-lifts, so for that I thank her. The room is pretty nice, and we have Internet, so I can't complain too much. We just hope the dogs will keep being good, so we don't get kicked out. 

Notes from the week:

Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer was on campus this past week and spoke to the students. He was pretty funny and told some good stories. He said his job was basically "doing homework for the rest of his life."

In the interest of keeping it "fair and balanced," I also heard from the Solicitor General of the U.S. Paul Clement. The SG is the designated advocate for the U.S. Government. It is his job to come up with arguments, both legal and otherwise, for what the government does. He was very sharp.

I have been sick. I think it was because I skipped Dr. Keith's fun-time radio half-hour medical hour to hear Breyer and thus was served with flu-like karmic payback. I was really suffering Thursday night, but I'm starting to feel better. 

In the ongoing Mormon basketball league saga, the team upon which I am the sole ringer notched big win number two on the season. However, after a 1-11 regular season, this victory came in the first round of the playoffs. That's right, the slipper still fits, Gus Johnson! We now stand at 2-11 and are looking at a Final Four matchup with a team that humbled us recently. But that doesn't really matter. It was just nice to win again.

I am studying this weekend, however, one small problem with that is that I have cable and it is NBA All-Star Weekend in NOLA, or alternatively the Black Super Bowl or the name I've proposed Mardi Ball. But anyway, I'll definitely be taking in the Saturday night festivities (although I won't be texting in any votes) and the game on Sunday. I'm a bit of a sucker for NBA All-Star Weekend, and the League in general, if you haven't noticed.

In the interest of furthering that suckeritude (word I also made up that is not as good as Mardi Ball), I casually watched the NBA All-Star "Celebrity" game last night on ESPN7. Celebrity was in quotes because the announcers had to tell you what the people did that made them celebrities because no one knew. I had never heard of Ne-Yo before, and I try to pay attention! If you missed it, and I'm sure you did, I can fill you in briefly. A criminally overweight Chris Tucker shot way too much, Prime Time actually played pretty hard and pretty well, Floyd Mayweather likes to dribble, and Taylor Hicks should have stayed home. The only player that would count as a current celebrity, Terrell Owens, showed up at the start of the second quarter (traffic, delayed flight, Tony Romo girlfriend intervention?) and then thoroughly dominated in leading his team to victory. He is good at basketball; the other "celebrities" are not.

I also watched some of the Rookie-Sophomore game but didn't make it to the end because I took some NyQuil and that was that. 

Last cable note: I also have HBO of some sort, it might be HBO2, but anyway I caught some of the preview buildup to Saturday night's rematch bout between Kelly Pavlik and Jermain Taylor. The fight is on PPV, but the show allowed me to see some nice shots of Little Rock, Taylor's hometown. It seemed quite nice. So my final question is for Lloyd, if he has read this far or read at all: Is there a lot of hullabaloo (for lack of a better word about this rematch after Pavlik humbled the hometown boy)? And my other question for him is whether he had heard of Ne-Yo?

Be cool.

This Is (Mainly) A Basketball Post - See Point #7 For Non-Basketball Information

I just finished watching the NBA.com highlights of the Celtics MLK Day victory over Isaiah and the Pips, and I think I might be ready to talk about this C's season. (To reiterate, I have watched a total of two Celtics games, both losses, but I have seen the extended NBA.com highlight packages for every game - sometimes multiple times in an attempt to see more deeply into what is and isn't working and/or avoid studying. At this point, I am well-versed in Andre Aldridge's somewhat choppy explanation of the highlights, Fred Carter's throaty admonishments and Peter Vecsey's elderly screeds against the Knicks, selfish basketball and the neighborhood kids who won't stay off his lawn).

Point #1: Garnett could not be more important. It cannot be overstated. Check out this link for whatever it is I am talking about. (Maybe the author doesn't really know that the Blazers were scared, but it seems convincing. The friendly Canadians at The Basketball Jones have also previously said that the Raptors are afraid of Garnett and by extension afraid of the Celtics). Not to step on Bill Simmons' toes here, but what Garnett does each game can't really be calculated or fully understood, except by saying it's important. Kat and I went to There Will Be Blood over the weekend, and as we were walking out I said "What did I just see? I mean, what was that about?" I was pretty much enthralled all the way through, but I didn't have a firm grasp about why I liked it, what it was about, what I should take away from it and whether I should be laughing or frowning. Garnett is sort of like that for the Celtics. He seems borderline psychopathic and far too intense to actually play with any sense of composure or effectiveness. He may be scaring his own teammates into playing harder, scaring the other teams or scaring himself into refusing to lose. I don't think it's all that quantifiable - and Garnett's numbers aren't spectacular this year - but he is definitely doing something. I don't think the C's as constructed on Draft Day 2007 (namely Pierce plus Ray Allen with Al Jefferson and other assorted parts) would be near as good as the mix of whoever was left after the big trade plus Garnett. It seems your Y League team plus KG would stand a decent chance against the bottom rungs of the NBA.

Point #2: I need to do some research - but I don't know where I can look - but I believe that 2007 Slam Dunk champion (and 2008 Slam Dunk entrant) Gerald Green and Garnett may be the worst and greatest players to ever wear the same number for the same team in consecutive years. I had totally forgotten both wore #5 until I saw some old GG high(?)lights from last season. I can't think of another comparison except maybe Mark Madsen leaving a team and LeBron James coming to that same team the next year and wearing the same number. This really means nothing but is interesting.

Point #3: Warning: This is borderline unbelievable! But here it is: Zach Randolph's first(!) dunk of the season came in the MLK game against the Celtics. Yes, in his 41st game of the season, Randolph, who is 6-9 finally got his first dunk. And it was off a rebound slam that was right in front of the hoop for him. I'm not saying athleticism is the only way to succeed, but if you are 6-9 and you're only dunking twice a season, I don't like the chances of you helping my team win.

Point #4: Warning: This has been placed next to Point #3 for comic and explanatory effect. Amare Stoudemire is 6-10. He had six dunks in one game Sunday night. The rather amazing highlights of Amare's destruction of the Nets can be found here. (Added note: the Nets haven't won in Phoenix since 1993) On the season, Amare has 93 dunks, according to the Dunk-O-Meter. He absolutely looks like vintage 2004 force-of-nature Amare but with an improved jump shot. I don't think his defense is much better, but I like to watch him for enjoyment purposes, not for San Antonio Spurs-style textbook purposes.

Point #5: Everyone in Phoenix and all of Arizona has been killing Boris Diaw lately for his laissez-faire attitude and court demeanor (see what I did there, he's French!), but I'm still firmly a Diaw fan. I just like how much he can do on the court, so I'm granting him most-favored player status. I like that he might underachieve a little sometimes or lack a killer instinct. Too many fans on message boards don't realize that the players are real people with fears and insecurities. I think if Diaw had Garnett's particular version of insanity he would be totally unstoppable, but Garnett was born with that gift(?!?) and Diaw was born in France. Boris took an entire offseason off without touching a basketball so he could go see lions on a safari in the Serengeti. Lots of regular people would love to do that but would never have the money or time to do so. When Diaw actually had it, those same people who call themselves fans killed him for actually fulfilling a dream. I understand that lots of professional athletes feel entitled and the middle-class fans who pay their enormous salaries feel marginalized, but there are also a handful of professional athletes who are thrilled with their jobs but also understand that what they do is just that, a job. Boris seems to understand that, and to understand that what he plays is a game, where the ball can take funny bounces and you can't dominate every time. Most people like sports because it is a reflection of life but in starker relief - there is always a clear winner and loser. The problem is when they translate that simplistic view over to a person.

Point #6: The Celtics are 10-0 against the Atlantic Division. It is possible that they could sweep their division for the entire season. I've probably jinxed them now, but we'll see. Obviously, their division is not, you know, good by any stretch of the imagination, but it is still impressive to beat those teams every time out. Now, if they could only figure out how to beat the Wizards... For excellent Wizards-related nicknames, look here.

Point #7: Obviously, I didn't have school today. I plan to get back to my usual pattern of not blogging starting Tuesday. I did want to relate a story from my first week back at law school. I was walking down this hallway and I heard a female voice behind me say "Hey" in a way that would convey the idea of "I would like to speak with you because I like you and we're friends." So I turned around and the person said in a clearly disappointed tone, "I thought you were someone else." Sensing that I was feeling a bit hurt by the exchange, the person then said, "But hello anyway." I then said hello and continued down the hallway with Charlie Brown-style dejection. These are the stories of what it is what it is like to be me. "It is an up-at-dawn, pride-swallowing siege that I will never fully tell you about, ok?" But despite encounters like that, which are humiliating and make me question whether I will ever succeed at anything, I still keep moving forward. And on that note, I bid you adieu.

Some Notes on a Wednesday Afternoon

I forgot to commemorate the first anniversary of Super Duper Day (note: official title still being discussed) yesterday, Dec. 4. SDD was the day when Kat and I officially became engaged by choosing the most inexpensive ring she liked and was simultaneously the same day when I got my first acceptance to a law school. Kat cried tears of joy on SDD. Normally, I make her cry tears of anger or disappointment three or four times for each instance of tears of joy. But we choose not to commemorate those occurrences with special days. Anyway, I hope to remember SDD next year without having Kat tell me right before I go to bed.

Since things always seem to come full circle, I had my first law school exam today (post-SDD). The first rule (or is it the second rule?) of law school exams is "You don't talk about law school exams!" So I won't be discussing it with you. I'll tell you how I feel after being prejudiced by finding out my grade. (Don't tell anyone I said anything, but I think I did OK. If not, I will be savagely disappointed later).

Though I didn't feel horrible after the exam, I was pretty drained. I felt like Hank Kingsley after he filled in for one night as host for Larry Sanders. Right after the show, this was Hank's quote:

"Man, I'm tired. Now, I know why Larry is so f---ed up!"

That is sort of how I felt. Hat tip to Lloyd for the Larry Sanders DVDs, which are always a good study break/procrastinating tool.

But while I thought things were going so well, this was the e-mail I received after I had finished only my first of four exams. And this is quoted verbatim, however, I will not divulge the author's name:

"Let's face it. You haven't done enough to get an A in the class you'll be
studying for on Friday. So just accept your fate and embrace the B and play
basketball."

Hold on, here! I haven't given up that easily. I think I have worked hard enough, but sure I'll be there for basketball. I've got to keep my priorities straight!

I don't have much more to say. Kat bought Lily a rather awesome sweater. The Suns and Celtics are winning. But sports are meaningless, law is everything, bring on the exams!

A chicken in every pot, an exclamation point in every paragraph

I haven't talked at you in a bit (we haven't missed you! they say), so here is what has been going on.

I have a lot of studying to do, but I'm hopeful that things will work out well. I will be finished with this semester is exactly one month. Then the real worrying can begin!

Here is one (only one?!?) thing I've learned: The law is a seamless web.

Kat redecorated the living room! It looks pretty impressive. I think she is going to update her blog with some pictures, but if she doesn't, I'll add one to this post. Here's what you need to know: zebra print Chinese lanterns, bamboo sticks, and a pretty red curtain. Put it all together and it achieves Kat's goal of making the living room look, in her words, "opium dennish." Note: the living room is not actually an opium den. It's not really a living room either since we live in all the rooms.

I've been listening to the latest New Pornographers album "Challengers." It has been out for awhile, but it only recently was put on eMusic. I think it is worth a listen. Much love for Challengers, Go Places, Myriad Harbour and Unguided!

Kat and I went to the Tucson Museum of Art today. There was an arts and crafts fair, and admission was free - although we are actually museum members because we are so cultured!

It is still quite warm here! There might be something to this.

Kat and I went from sports bar to sports bar in an attempt to find one that had NBA TV, so I could take in the Celtics-Magic tilt. I hadn't seen the Celtics since their reincarnation, so I had to take the last chance I would probably have in awhile. First, I forgot when the game started and then we couldn't find a place that showed it. By the time we found a place that actually had it, it was the middle of the third quarter. The C's had been 8-0 in games I hadn't watched any part of. Now, they are 0-1 in games I have seen part of! So I will take the blame. Although I should enjoy seeing a Boston team lose considering recent events in sports, I wanted to see the C's play well and win. I don't know how good they can be, but to my mind, anything less than an Eastern Conference title would be a failure. I knew when I came to law school that trying not to pay attention to the Suns would be difficult, but I was not counting on a Celtics revival. Oh well, I'm glad to see them win because it has been a long time coming.

That's all! Take care.

Sunday Night is Blogging Night in America

I've been told that keeping a journal during law school is a good idea. I haven't been doing it - but then again, I haven't been following much of the advice I've been given. To follow more than half of it is impossible because most of it is contradictory. However, I was hoping that every Sunday night I could blog about law school. Maybe I won't be quite as open as I would be if no one could read it, but since the readership of this blog isn't exactly in the hundreds, I'll probably be fine.

So far my routine every Sunday night has been to
1. shave for the only time I will all week
2. burn my entire library of law school-related documents (assignments, notes, powerpoints, etc.) to a CD to prepare for either my laptop freezing, being broken or being stolen and
3. worry obsessively about the coming week.
I have no plans to change this procedure, although I threw in a step 2.5 tonight with a haircut, thanks to Kat's fine work with a pair of scissors.

I have my usual fear, but I have fallen into a bit of a routine when it comes to school. In part, this causes me apprehension (the imminence of which is an element for the civil tort of assault!) because I don't want it to get so comfortable that I forget that I'm not actually learning everything I should. But on the other hand (as we're always taught to consider in law school), it doesn't help the learning process to be on edge every single day.
But I don't think the anxiety will probably ever go away for me. In each class there is only one graded assignment - the exam at the end. So you can never know how you are doing until you really find out how you did. But it is the same situation for everybody, so there is really no reason to complain. I think everything will be fine, but confidence isn't my strong suit.

However, I'll close with two good things in an attempt to lighten the mood.
1. I was chosen as one of two Student Bar Association representatives for my section of the class. This was a good thing.
2. I found some law students with whom to play basketball every Friday. This is also a good thing.

In closing, I don't think this post was helpful to anyone probably. If you think I should do the law school kvetching in a private notebook and save the blog for talking about Ed Hochuli's prodigious guns or other sports minutiae feel free to let me know. Or if you like the pallor that this post has thrown over the entire enterprise feel free to let me know that, too.
OK, I hope to see you in a week.

I know, I know

I haven't blogged in an epoch because I've been trying to learn the meaning of justiciability (as well as how to say it!) and about a thousand other things that are hard to say and harder to understand. Someday I'll get back to blogging, but I'll be less interesting. That is a disturbing consideration for people who have read my blogs previously because they obviously aren't page-turners.
Despite what it may be doing to my sense of humor (and my psyche) I like law school. It's fun in a way most people would consider totally not fun.
I'll try to blog now and then about topics wholly unrelated to law school because no one wants to read about me rambling around in the darkness. But right now I have no other thoughts outside of law school, so you'll have to content yourself with this. Sorry.

Summer of Jeffrey comes to an end

As I type this it is my final day of non-law school freedom. I'm both excited and mortified about getting started. I've had a good summer and appreciate Kat for allowing me to live the life of the idle rich at least for awhile.

All the preparations have been made for law school - tuition paid for, laptop bought, books purchased, loans in arrears, fingernails nonexistent, fears in overdrive. I busted out my old laptop today as sort of a bridge to when I was last in school. I played some of my old mp3s (sadly trapped on the antiquated machine because it crashes if I try to use the disk drive), played a few games of Minesweeper and thought about what I liked about school in the first place.

I've written in this space and others about this matter for quite some time, and I think everyone is quite bored with it. It appears that it is time for me to put up or shut up. I'll let you know which way it goes.