Did you miss me?

All right stop, collaborate and listen
Ice is back with a brand new invention

I hadn't heard VI in many moons, but a fellow law clerk, who clearly wishes it still was the 1990s, had it bangin' in his Subaru Legacy the other day (Sirius '90s on 9 channel if you want to queue it up) and it brought back a flood of memories. Actually, it was more like a moderate trickle of memories. What I remembered was that other than the stolen bass line that song was pretty terrible. And long, too, insufferably long. I also remembered when VI destroyed the set during the taping of 25 Lame, a show that is crying out to be released on DVD. I am actually getting close to just breaking down and buying a bootleg copy from someone online because the Youtube clips aren't enough. I think my memory of 25 Lame is actually funnier than it actually was, but not a week goes by that I don't think of it. (That was a sad sentence but nonetheless true!)

But before you think me some sort of sentimental sappy sod, I can explain why I am in such a contemplative mood. I am reading a biography of Ted Williams that is making me yearn for the past, when men were men (meaning they tended to spit on unruly fans) and baseball was baseball (meaning, I guess, that only white men were allowed to play it). (Speaking of Williams, read this. It is the greatest sports story ever written and seems to show that maybe everything was better in the past). However, I guess the noted poor driver William Joel may have been right when he said "the good old days weren't always good and tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems." That's the kind of seemingly deep yet totally pointless comment that could sell pop records back when I was a kid. Now, it's just booty-shaking, Autotune, and kooky Minnesotans dancing that moves product.

If you can't tell, I have no idea what is going on in the world these days. I move in a bubble of unimportance that I pretend is important. And that is really what I wanted to talk about. Recently, I attended a hearing with a real live prisoner in a real orange jumpsuit and real arm and leg shackles. I attended this hearing to see this person because much of my time lately has been working in an effort to keep said person in said jumpsuit. Said person clearly did not understand why I was at his hearing and probably was not happy to have me there. But I wanted to be there to recognize that what I was doing was having an impact. Obviously, such a situation can lead to some conflicting feelings. I don't really know if said person belongs in that jumpsuit. I know what I have been told. I know what I read in reports. But it is something a little bit different to see the effect on the actual person and the effect on his or her family. I often say that staying in the office, poring over books and never seeing the light of day is fine with me (can a person's skin get more untanned than absolute white? Of course not, it's an impossibility!). But sometimes you have to face what you are doing. Not because it is supposed to make you feel bad about it or that you are doing the wrong thing, but to keep you focused on how important it is so that you do only what you know is right and truthful.

When Chief Justice John Roberts was on campus this year he was asked if he lost sleep over all of the petitions he gets from prisoners on death row. He frankly admitted that if he did lose sleep over them he wouldn't ever get any sleep. This is true. He said he simply took every one seriously, made his best decision, and then moved on. If he didn't move on, he wouldn't get to live his own life. I think he was absolutely right, but the trick is to take each one seriously even after receiving them over and over again. I am far too green to take anything lightly, but I know that attending that hearing simply reinforced the need for focus.

I meant for this entry to be lighthearted. Honestly, the only thing that keeps this blog from being the bleakest on the Interwebs is that I post so rarely. I don't mean to be spend every day of my life as Mopes the Sad Clown or some sort of martyr who has the weight of the world on his shoulders. I guess I just take this stuff seriously, for now, at least. My current fear level is at orange at all times, although it is inching toward red since I am less than one year from the bar exam. By then I don't think I'll have any fingernails left, maybe no fingers at all. The seriousness will be like Schindler's List in Darfur. No, I won't expect you to talk to me. I wouldn't talk to me either.

So I'm going to post this, even though it is of questionable value and makes me seem like a possible danger to myself and others. But when it's not basketball season there is not much for me to write about. Well, some of my readers don't want the basketball anyway. I can't think they would like this better, but we'll see I guess. Well, that's all for now.

If there's a problem, yo I'll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it

(Redacted)

Here is some more useless drivel about the (redacted), (redacted) work I am doing. Enjoy if you can.

During the past two weeks, I watched nearly every minute of a rather extensive trial involving two defendants who allegedly smuggled illegal aliens. The trial was a bit of a soap opera and veered close to (redacted) on a couple of occasions. I think it is likely that (redacted), but when it came down to the verdict both defendants were convicted of all three counts of alien smuggling. The most interesting part of the trial was the defense that was being put forward by the defendants. They did not deny that what they did was illegal or that they were the ones doing it, but their defense was that they thought they were working “deep undercover” for law enforcement. I do not know what they really believed or if this was just a defense created from desperation when they knew they were in trouble, but that uncertainty is what was most interesting to me. I firmly believe that the adversarial process is the best way to actually figure out the facts of what happened, but when it comes to beliefs or intent, we must admit that we can never enter the head of another person. As a prosecutor or defense attorney, you have to believe in your case in order to zealously advocate for it, but I often wonder if lawyers who are fighting to win at trial can even allow themselves to truly consider whether the other side is in the right. Can they allow themselves to wonder at all? Any good lawyer knows it is imperative to consider the weaknesses of his or her case, but my point is about whether one can really take the step of considering whether the other party may deserve to win.

(Redacted)

Ultimately, I am comfortable with the fact that even if I were a juror for that trial, I would not have really known what those defendants were thinking or what they believed. However, the jury instructions required a reasonable belief, and I do not think it was reasonable for those defendants to believe they were working for law enforcement when they had never talked to any real law enforcement officers. I think the jury got it right. A lot of resources and a lot of time was spent, but the American legal system delivered what appears to be a just outcome after a fair process. Clearly, our system of justice is not perfect; it just seems better than anything else one could imagine.

Despite one’s feelings about our justice system, there is no doubt that it is rife with complexity, which is a topic I have been thinking about a lot lately. While the jury instructions for the trial were presented in what appears to be layman’s terms, it seems that the defense attorneys in their closing arguments did their best to muddy the waters and possibly even confuse the jury. While I do not impugn their efforts and understand their duties to their clients, it seems that the defense attorneys made what the jury had to consider seem more complex and daunting than it really was. And some of the questions given to the judge by the jury during its deliberations showed that it was getting a little confused as to what the instructions meant. Our American method for resolving disputes, which I was as recently as the previous paragraph citing as the best possible system, shows itself to be more complex each day that I show up for work. The sheer amount of law and the amount of complexity within that law is staggering. While it may create some job security for lawyers (if you can get one first, that is!), I fear that the complexity that has been built into the system over time has made it impenetrable to anyone who is untrained (and even many who are). Recently, I have been working on a (redacted) that was filed by a pro se plaintiff. The complaint is largely incomprehensible and does not follow any pleading conventions. It has been more difficult to write a (redacted) for such a complaint because it makes so little sense that I do not know where to start refuting it. I am not arguing that our system should be simple enough to allow anyone to file their own complaint. Such a system would be inefficient and unhelpful. However, my concern lies more with the public’s opinion of the legal system itself. Because of how complicated it is to do even seemingly simple things, the public sees lawyers as a malevolent force and comes to believe that the system is set up to take advantage of the unsophisticated. And sometimes those things are true.

I don’t have an answer. This is simply an observation (and not really that perceptive of one – it is akin to writing an entire paragraph about how it seems like the Pope might in fact be Catholic). But I sometimes feel that things are being made more complex in order to benefit certain groups at the expense of others. Today, while I was reading a case, I had to stop and laugh when the opinion drily stated (with no apparent sense of humor) that “in our circuit we do not use the common sense approach.” And I felt that such a sentence could be included in hundreds of opinions every day. Common sense is not the answer to all of our prayers. And some people would not like my version of common sense, and I would abhor theirs. My answer – which I hope is better than my observations – is to always focus on the fact that as a lawyer the goal is to help people navigate this complexity that has developed and to help them feel as though they are guiding their own ship. I hope I never reach a point where I feel it is wasteful or unnecessary to explain – in understandable terms – what decision the client needs to make and what factors impact that decision. It remains their decision – even if they need me to explain what it is they need to decide. To me, that is the job of being a lawyer and that is the way to help the client. Yes, it is advocating and advising, but I think in the end it is about explaining.

And after explaining, there is of course listening and actually doing what the client wants. But I will have to save that for a couple of weeks from now. That is enough of my observations and theories.

Synergy

The summer class in which I am enrolled requires me to journal about my work experience. I thought I could also share it on the blog because nothing says fun like more blather from me.

Some quick-hitters first though:

Kat and I went to a Shakespeare in the Park production of Julius Caesar last night. It was community theater, but it was still pretty good. Plus, we had Dunkin' Donuts munchkins with us, which always makes anything better!

Tonight, the plan is to go see the Tucson Toros independent league baseball team in action against the Yuma Scorpions. One of the interesting parts of Julius Caesar last night was the intermittent crowd noise and even fireworks from the baseball stadium across the park. Tonight, we'll see how baseball is affected by occasional mentions of "Durst did he not!" and "Aye, be that it were!"

Not much else is going on, so forthwith, here is my first "journal" entry, with a few redactions to make it seem that much more like a federal government document:

I started at the (redacted) in (redacted) on June 5. I was scheduled to start June 1, but my (redacted) was a little slow. I speculate that my (redacted) was so lacking in interesting details that the (redacted) employee just could not manage to complete it.

But now that I am working, I have found that I really enjoy it. My assignments have been varied – some straight research, some memos and right now I am working on a (redacted) for an appeal to the (redacted) (redacted) Court of (redacted). I do not want to make my part of the appeal process sound more impressive than it is. I am simply drafting an attempt at the statement of facts and the argument so that the attorney writing the (redacted) does not have to do as much work. My hope is that what I turn in helps at least in some way and does not actually create more work for the attorney. We shall see!

I have attended some court hearings as well. I attended a hearing in a case involving former U.S. Congressman Rick Renzi, who was indicted on conspiracy, fraud and money laundering charges. The hearing was about how the FBI conducted its wiretap investigation of Renzi’s cellular phone calls. As an avid fan of “The Wire” on HBO, it became quite clear that, even for all of the attention to detail in the television show, presenting the real minutiae of a wiretap investigation would probably be too boring to hold anyone’s attention. I also attended a hearing on whether or not to require pretrial detention for a suspect who allegedly set off a bomb behind a (redacted) bar, blowing his own arm off in the process. These examples are simply proof that if you cannot find anything good on television on a weekday – and who can during the summer? – you can always come on down to your taxpayer-funded federal court and you are likely to find something to pique your interest—and free air conditioning.

Some of the hearings I have attended have been on the testy side. A hearing I attended for a drug case featured the attorneys sniping at each other like my parents trying to decide what time to go to the airport. Some hearings seem like they have been testy for almost no reason. But I think when the same attorneys butt heads repeatedly over the same issues and disagreements, after awhile they stop offering the little courtesies. I think that is why it is best, when one can, to go up against different attorneys in different courts before different judges. I think, at least in certain courts, familiarity does breed contempt. While there is often a lot of work to do, I aim to keep attending hearings and trials to get a flavor of what cases are like on a day-to-day basis in federal court.

My mother has been a high school teacher for more than 30 years, and, not coincidentally, is bordering on mentally ill. However, one thing she has always told her students has started to ring somewhat true for me over the last two weeks. She always tells her students that they should aim to find jobs that they would do for free. She says she feels this way about being a high school teacher, which I submit is just more proof of her festering mental illness. When she would unleash this little gem on me, I treated it as a thought experiment; I never had any intention of actually testing the theory. However, I now find myself doing work for free, and although I find it almost too earnest to really say it, I get up each day excited to go to work and have not minded the fact that I am not getting paid. While I do not think working for nothing for my entire life is a sustainable option (and I think the Civil War Amendments might have something to say about it!), this experience has shown me how legal work can be fun, frustrating and fulfilling, all at the same time.

In closing, I am writing this after a pretty good day at work, and I think that could be coloring the tone of this journal entry. If I reread this following a less than stellar day I will probably sneer disdainfully or vomit – for my sake, I hope the former. But despite the fact that I keep getting lost in the building, keep getting blisters from my new shoes, and keep forgetting whether case names are or are not italicized, I like what I am doing and I am learning a lot about new areas of the law. Each day has been good so far. I hope it keeps up.

Reunited

I'm back at home today after a few days in Nebraska. I enjoyed my ten-year reunion and seeing some of my friends. Kat got sort of sick at the end of the trip (I think she can only take so much Nebraska before undergoing a physical reaction), and now I am sick today. However, I didn't have a whole lot to do today anyway, so taking it easy is good.

One of the last times I was in Nebraska I stole someone's car. This time I stole my mother's car keys. However, I have mailed them back to her.

Kat's dad got here yesterday after many days on the road and is preparing for the next part of his motorcycle trip.

Here are a smattering of photos from the trip to Nebraska.

This bar was serious about outlawing horseplay. I stood ramrod straight the whole evening out of fear that I would break the shuffleboard table. Thankfully, nothing was damaged. (I was pretending to take a photo of Kat while really wanting to get a look at the signs. Thus, I got half of her)

An action shot at the bar.

Keith and Shaleah in their home. They did a C-Section while I was visiting but I slept through it. (The C-Section wasn't on me, obvs, but I thought it was impressive nonetheless.)

A sad photo from the past. At any high school reunion, yearbooks will get passed around. I thought this photo was noteworthy because of the melancholy on Keith's face but also the supermodel good looks. Rowrr!

The Elite Eight. My tallness, as usual, obscures someone else. Still, quite an impressive group. This was eight of our original seventeen-person graduating class.

When speaking on behalf of our graduating class, I pulled no punches. The elderly and my mother (which are kind of the same thing) withstood the brunt of my verbal attack. It was pretty nerve-wracking but also fun.

Kat, as usual, doing her best to stay sane during a visit to Nebraska.

I enjoyed the trip and seeing my family, some of whom complained about the frequency of my blogging. I'll try to do better this summer, but I'll have to see if anything interesting - that I can talk about - happens to me.

Know Comment

A horde of wannabe commenters (maybe not that many, but work with me) were calling for the end of any restrictions on commenting on this blog. Well, commenters unite because now you have nothing to lose but your chains. You can anonymously comment, although be warned, this area will probably soon be a Hobbesian state of nature. Good luck.

New Whine in Old Bottles

Kat went to Scottsdale for some shopping fun today. She'll probably come back even more fashionable than she already is.

I'm going to school to study. I'm dilly-dallying about by writing this blog post in order to delay the inevitable (and wait for the library to open).

We went to a law-school related dinner last night and then went to a dessert lounge (ooh, how decadent!). We then came home and watched The Wrestler on DVD. It was pretty good, although there were parts that neither Kat nor I enjoyed watching.

Speaking of decadence, a few weeks ago we were at a different eatery and the menu said one dessert was a "decedent" portion of something-or-other. Let me provide a word of advice: it is important to know the difference between decadent and decedent - at least in my opinion.

I don't have much to say. I could tell you a lot about FRCP Rule 23 or the stepped-up tax basis for inherited property, but I don't think anyone cares. I just have to keep going.

Trying to keep the demons at bay

I'm getting into law school crunch time, and I've begun to feel that I don't like being crunched. I think I need this book to help get me through.

I didn't come here to talk about me, though. I wanted to talk about paranoia, ridiculousness, outsized expectations, premature judgment and general self-loathing (Again, I must reiterate, I'm not talking about me). Instead, I am discussing the search for a new basketball coach for the University of Arizona. For most of my readers (how much is most of two?) this particular topic has no relevance to them and does not affect them. But lo, if it were so easy for me.

Alas, since I live in Tucson (a beautiful place with a lot going for it, however, a grasp of reality when it comes to UA Basketball remains wanting) I must constantly be reminded of this quest to find a guy to stand on the sidelines in a suit. I can't even avoid it at law school since many people went to Arizona as undergrads and not only drank the Kool-Aid, they had their blood replaced with it.

So there are constant rumors and stories and arguments and discussions and it could not be more tedious. The latest craze is to want to fire the athletic director since he hasn't persuaded Jesus Christ himself to come to McKale Center. While it may seem like heresy (pardon the religious references but I'm just trying to give you a taste of what it is like to be forced against one's will to be a parishioner at the Church of the Silver Fox) maybe people should realize that the AD was put in a no-win situation by the demigod that is Lute Olson with his will-I-coach-won't-I-coach headgames. It is hard to hire a coach during a season because all of the successful candidates are, you know, coaching their own successful teams. Alas, I punch at the wind because asking for rationality among this fanbase is like asking for Kat not to watch cute videos of puppies on Youtube: you just can't.

Personally, I would just like it to end. Please hire someone and let us get back to our lives. Until then, I hope to burrow into the law books and not come out. Someday, it will be over. For now, we wait.